Proust questionnaire: Bruce Campana, MD, FACEP, FRCPC

Issue: BCMJ, Vol. 59, No. 3, April 2017, page(s) 202 Proust for Physicians
Bruce Campana, MD, FACEP, FRCPC

Dr Bruce Campana
What profession might you have pursued, if not medicine?
Marine biology. I wanted to study dolphins. My brother would study sharks. We were going to have them fight. We could have made millions.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could sing. Because I really, really can’t. No, you don’t understand. I’m awful. Imagine a water buffalo getting an orchiectomy with a rusty cheese grater.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Having children. It’s also a wonder that my wife married me. And is still around.

Who are your heroes?
Too many to name, none of whom are in sports or entertainment.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A warm late afternoon when the sun is golden, after a physically exhausting day, surrounded by family, about to eat.

What is your greatest fear?
Letting my family down.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
How much time do you have? I say hurtful things. Do stupid things. Waste time. Second-guess. Worry too much. Don’t praise enough.

What characteristic do your favorite patients share?
Courage. The bravest people I’ve ever met are those who know they are dying.

Which living physician do you most admire?
Peter Rosen. Caring, except about money. Ethical. A teacher. Unafraid to do what’s right.

What is your favorite activity?
Scuba diving in the tropics. It’s a different world, and I can fly.

On what occasion do you lie?
To my wife. When I’ve bought a boat.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I don’t know. Seriously, I say that a lot.

Where would you most like to practise?
In a small clinic where my family can drop by, our dogs can sit by me and give love to the unloved, and I can go home for lunch. Also, I’d have an MRI scanner.

What technological medical advance do you most anticipate?
A teleporter that can send Captain Hook to do a rectal exam on any consultant who whines about an emergency call after midnight.

What is your most marked characteristic?
My disdain for those who take themselves too seriously.

What do you most value in your colleagues?
Compassion. The willingness to spend time with someone who’s scared or confused in lieu of seeing more patients and making more money.

What is your greatest regret?
Not being able to tell some people I’ve hurt that I’m really sorry, and that I think I get it now.

How would you like to die?
At home, surrounded by family, with just enough energy to tell one more bad joke, then to take my last breath while my boys are still groaning.

What is your motto?
What could possibly go wrong?

Bruce Campana is an emergency physician who works and lives on Vancouver Island with his wife, 2 sons, 2 dogs, 2 macaws, 1 cat, and 1 lizard. Every day that he wakes up he cannot believe how lucky he is.